A load of bollocks

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John Faulkner, Skegness
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A load of bollocks

Post by John Faulkner, Skegness » 29 May 2018 10:44

Just a description of my life at the moment. A lot of depression. A lot of anger. Almost zero interest in the hobby.

I find myself witnessing some good openings to the top of band 2, then just switching off because I cannot be bothered with it all.

I am still looking forward to the next MW DX season, however. MW was my first serious DX love. but it's out of the question at the moment due to high noise levels. I know what the problem is now, thanks to Chris' recent visit, but I have little enthusiasm to do anything about it.

One thing I have tried is to set up my IC7000 to run FT8 and WJST. Some progress there at last, but still a lot of getting my head around things. Will I make it? I doubt it. It's a combination of lack of enthusiasm and not being able to get my head around anything more technical than a piece of wet string.

I totally fucked up my Roberts Stream 83i recently when I tried to replace the blown audio chip. I may as well have put a hammer to it. Oh well. Life goes on.

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Re: A load of bollocks

Post by KnobTwiddler » 29 May 2018 14:06

I'm sorry to hear of your problems John, I know how you feel as I have been in the same situation.

The two things that cured my depression was that I discovered how wonderful it is to have animals around you. Having animals to look after means that you concentrate on them rather than yourself and your problems, with animals you will always get what you give, so if you give them love and affection they will return it with no strings attached.

The other thing that I discovered was logic, I asked myself 'what is it that is making me depressed' and I came up with the answer, life in general.
Well that is illogical, because I am so lucky when I think of how well off I am in comparison to millions of other people in this world, I have a roof over my head, I have food, I have water and I have my freedom. I don't have a lot of money but I can pay the bills and there is a little left over at the end of each week for the odd little treat... that is all anyone really needs in life, it's the simple things in live that makes life worth living like cuddling an animal or going for a walk in the woods, not all these unimportant material things that people are obsessed with obtaining these days.

Health and the quality of life is very important and as you get older health problems do arise, but however bad your situation may be there is always someone a lot worse off than you. I consider myself very lucky in that I only suffer from high blood pressure and an enlarged heart, but my doctor told me that this means that I am 8-10 times more likely to suffer a heart attack or a stroke... great news to add to my family history with alzheimer's disease which means that if the heart attack doesn't get me the alzheimer's disease will.

Well to hell with nature, I'm not sitting around felling sorry for myself and waiting to die, so I take each day at a time and I'm not going to worry about anything because worrying is illogical and what will be will be. All the worrying in the world won't change things, all it will do is stress you out and that is bad for your health.

Getting back to radio, noise and interference is something that I've had to deal with for many years, you are very lucky if like me you live in a city and don't suffer from some kind of interference these days. Like your good self MW dx'ing was my favourite hobby, but it's been totally destroyed by my neighbours with there gizmo's and gadgets. As frustrating as this is, after years of trying to eliminate the interference and getting nowhere, I have finely come to the conclusion that I have been wasting my time and I am now resigned to the fact that this is something that I will just have to live with.

You are not the only one to have f****d up something while trying to fix a problem, I have done it many times but as you know s**t happens so you just move on.

I wish you all the best John and hope that things improve for you and just remember.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M
AirSpy HF+ SDR + Home-brew Mini Whip for LW/MW/HF + 9:1 Balun + Whip Aerial
Yamaha T-D500 Tuner For DAB
Tecsun PL-880
Yaesu FT-897D + FT-2900
Icom IC-7300 (Awesome piece of kit) + Icom IC-706 MkII + Icom IC-2200H
Anytone AT-588 for 70Mhz

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John Faulkner, Skegness
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Re: A load of bollocks

Post by John Faulkner, Skegness » 29 May 2018 21:21

Good grief! I didn't realise I had written that with such an abrupt tone.

Yes, it's life. Just about everybody has problems in their lives at some point or other. I have a couple of rough days, then get on with things.

I do have two wonderful furbabies (as people seem to be calling them these days. not sure I quite go along with that term.) which have been a great comfort to me over the last 15 months of living on my own. They are very sweet and lovable Rottweilers. SHOCK! Horror! some of you might be thinking. Well, don't! They are just like any other breed of dog, more or less, when you bring them up correctly. I'll attach a photo.

My babies!

That's Monty on the left. Crystal (mum) on the right and one of their pups sat rather cutely in the middle.

Monty, however, can be a little problematic. Weighing in at a staggering 64 kilos, he can be quite a handful when he gets excited. I've had a few bloody noses when he's caught me. Those tails can cause a lot of pain too when swiped in the right place. In fact we had 12 Rottweilers at one time. While I was never keen on dogs, let alone Rottweilers, they have become my favourite breed. So misunderstood and such gentle giants.

They're getting on in years now and have arthritis, a common problem in Rottweilers. They're not the most energetic of breeds, but their mobility is now starting to become a little limited.

Financially, I am struggling, but I've got on top of just about all my bills with the exception of gas / electric, which I am now two years behind with. I should be able to start catching up with that soon. Enough about my money worries.

I do understand that I have been very lucky with my health. At 57, however, I am starting to develop a couple of conditions. The most serious is spondylosis. I was in a car accident and had to wear a neck brace, briefly. But, not long after this, I had two slipped discs in my neck after doing some very heavy lifting. The car accident probably damaged my neck and the lifting tipped things over the edge. The doctor told me I would be in a wheelchair by the time I was 50. Now, at 57, I am still walking, just about. My neck pain is a problem, but I recently have found a lot of pain in my heels after walking. My mother had plantar fasciitis and I suspect that I may have developed that. I need to see the doctor though.

My main problem is a lack of friends. I'm a proper Billy No Mates it seems because I haven't really lived in Skegness that long. While I know a lot of people here, I do not know anybody I could have a regular social drink, etc. with. But I keep myself VERY busy and that is partly why I haven't done much with FM this season.

Skegness does not do a lot. On the whole, it's not a bad place to live, but I would never recommend it as a serious holiday resort. There are nicer places. The population goes up from a sleepy 25,000 in the winter, to a jam-packed 250,000 in the summer. It's fairly busy now, but there are no job prospects whatsoever. I need to move on. Sadly, I cannot afford to.

So, I am largely content, mindful that I am still in fairly deep financial water, but able to enjoy a hobby at my leisure. (Whenever the noise lets me.) So it's not all bad. I still get low from time to time, but who doesn't? We are all human.

My diet is shocking. I eat a lot of salads, but I stuff myself with lots of chocolate and late night puddings. NOT good! But I have always been slim. In fact, positively skinny until I was 27.

I lost my father to Alzheimer's. My mother died from Leukaemia. My father also had stomach cancer, which may have returned just before his death. They had these conditions at a much younger age than I am now. Does it mean that I will get these? I suppose the chances will be higher at the very least.

The only really positive thing I have found since my wife left me in February 2017, is Christianity. I am Mr Sceptic and I've always found any kind of religion a load of, well, bollocks. My discovery of this was quite gradual and uneventful, but several things have happened, too numerous and complicated to explain, which have gone 'beyond proof' for me. I still find it hard to believe that this has come my way. Never in a million years did I see this one coming. So this gives me some comfort too. It's something I have rejected many times over the years as complete and utter nonsense.

I walk a lot and cycle here and there for leisure. Skegness is a great place for cycling. Not a hill in sight! The beaches here are as good as the best too. All "blue flag" and miles and miles of them.

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Re: A load of bollocks

Post by Catherine » 01 Jun 2018 20:18

Lovely dogs! :) The puppy looks just like its mum. The 'gentle giant' breeds are the best I think.

Interesting comments about Christianity - for me it was the other way round! :lol: I was Christian by 'default' as that's how I was brought up, but I gradually became more sceptical until I realised, with some sadness, that I don't believe on God.

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Re: A load of bollocks

Post by Paul_Logan » 13 Jul 2018 17:53

John mate, if you ever get down remember that this entire community of ours wouldn't exist had it not been for your efforts way back. First with the Skywaves magazine and then giving us nerds somewhere online to share our particular brand of weirdness. And it takes balls to talk about supposedly "taboo" subjects like depression. My hat is well and truly off to you. Hang in there man.
Paul Logan
Lisnaskea, Fermanagh, N. Ireland IO64GG

FMDX: Elad FDM-S2 with 5 el Yagi by K6STI, Andy Bolin Phaser.
MW / SW: Perseus / Elad FDM-S2 with Inverted L wire / Wellbrook Loop.

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John Faulkner, Skegness
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Re: A load of bollocks

Post by John Faulkner, Skegness » 14 Jul 2018 02:20

Thanks Paul.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I probably do it way too much. However, as BT say in their commercials, it's good to talk. I believe that discussing these things can be helpful to some, therapeutic perhaps for others, because it makes us realise that we're all human and can all make mistakes, go through troubled times, etc.) and I speak my mind - and I know I do it in the wrong places or at the wrong times. It's a release, to get it out of my system.

I am surprised I wrote the above. I must have been down. Fact is, the poo which is hitting my fan at the moment is even more challenging, but I will get there. These things are only temporary. Oh dear. I should delete my post. :oops:

In the times I have lost interest in the radio hobby, I have always bounced back. It took a few years the first time. Actually, seven years. This year and last, only a few days I suppose. Finding time to play radios has also been a problem lately, but it's healthy to have a rest every now and again.

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Re: A load of bollocks

Post by Patrick73 » 17 Jul 2018 08:28

I send you all my best positive thoughts and vibes !
Radio has also been a lifeline for me, for several years now ...

Kind regards from France.
Main interests : NDB, MW & FM DX'ing
REU Editor http://www.classaxe.com/dx/ndb/reu

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